Routley Counselling





"Today I will acknowledge that the change in my life must begin with me" author unknown.









"... the creation of an intimate, joyful, lifelong union depends not on your ability to attract the perfect mate, but on your willingness to acquire knowledge about hidden parts of yourself." Adapted Dr. Harville Hendrix



routley counselling

Nancy Routley

Nancy Routley, MEd.
Registered Clinical Counsellor
Certified Gottman Educator

Individual Counselling

I draw from a number of different disciplines when working with clients. I use Solution Focused, Narrative, Gestalt and cognitive behaviour techniques to name a few. I also work with the 'felt sense' using a technique called 'focusing' to help client's get in touch with their emotions or feelings in order to connect with the body to create lasting change. I help clients become fully integrated, meaning they are aware of their thoughts, feelings and behaviours which ensures they are able to make more conscious choices, instead of reacting. I incorporate breathing and a number of Buddhist "mindfulness" techniques including grounding and visualization to help clients be in the moment and find more peace.

Couple Counselling

My underlying belief when working with couples, is that our primary relationships are worth fighting for and can be an opportunity to learn and grow and heal. I try to help each partner become mindful of his or her role and behaviour. I believe change comes from being conscious and taking responsibility for our own behaviour. I'm typically looking at three areas of concern when working with couples; the friendship (that includes sex); how they manage conflict and what is underneath the repeated/deep conflicts. I believe that helping couples connect emotionally and manage conflict successfully can change the direction of their relationship to a more positive path.

I also respect a couples right to end their relationship and I work to help them do this in a respectful way incurring the least amount of damage to themselves and when relevant, their children.

System theory informs my couple and family work. This simply means that when working with more than two people I am looking at the interactions between them, what is working and what is not working. The way the couples approach each other and attempt to get their needs met is what I am interested in, not what is wrong with each individual. I draw on the work of some noted therapists/researchers such as John Gottman, Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, Michele Weiner-Davis, Murray Bowen, William Doherty, among others.

I have experience and am comfortable working with unmarried or same-sex couples.

Family Counselling

As with my couples therapy I draw from systems theories to inform my work. I look at each member of the family to see the role they play and how it affects the system. I have a comprehensive understanding of developmental stages of children and the stresses these stages have on relationships. I respect families' varied ways of functioning and work to help them create a safe place that promotes health and growth. I also have experience and can work with the unique challenges of blended families.


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